The List: 34 Climbing Route Names You Can’t Say to Your Mom

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One of the most clever and crude climbing route names ever is in Colorado
— Eldorado Canyon’s “Your Mother,” a 5.12d sport route on the west
aspect of the Bastille. The possibilities for conversation for men
giggling like high school freshmen are endless: “I was on Your Mother
last Saturday,” “I just got off Your Mother,” et cetera. And yet you
don’t have to worry about explaining the name to your 10-year-old when
you’re at the crag, should he or she find it while flipping through a
guidebook.

Not so with the route names on this list. Many of these would make a
sailor cringe (so if you have delicate sensibilities now’s the time to
leave the room…seriously). It certainly says something about the minds
of rock climbers, though I’m a little afraid to speculate precisely
what. I just know this is a very limited sample of what’s really out
there – a semi-comprehensive Joshua Tree route list alone is enough to
make a “birds and the bees” talk with your teenager last several hours.

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