Monsanto’s Wizard-of-Oz website

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Excellent news, consumers: Biotech giants that’ve been secretly inserting genetically engineered organisms into thousands of food products you buy have just announced that they’re coming clean!

Wow, you mean no more GMO Frankenfood ingredients will be slipped into our diets? Oh, come on — these are food profiteers, so they’re not about to come that clean. So maybe they’re agreeing at last (and at least) to label any products that contain ingredients with tampered DNA. No, no — right-to-know labeling is what food tamperers fear most, for they know we won’t buy those items if we know what’s in them. OK then, what do they actually intend to do?

They’re giving us a website.

Say what? Yes, the entirety of their grand gesture of “corporate transparency” is to put a mess of PR and useless gobbledygook on a slick site called GMOAnswers.com. They say we can ask “virtually any question,” and their “experts” will be happy to tell us why GMOs are good for us. In other words, “come clean” is an industry euphemism for “whitewash.”

The website will be controlled by — and its “answers” written by — agents of Monsanto and a handful of other corporations that control the dangerous and deceitful genetic manipulation industry. “We want to get into the conversation” with those opposed to GMOs, stated a biotech exec — ignoring the fact that these same industry schemers did not allow any opponents into “the conversation” they had in back rooms with our government officials when they conspired to foist these nasties on our families without our knowledge.

Monsanto and Gang are notorious liars, political manipulators and thugs. They can put all the propaganda they want on their Wizard-of-Oz website, but — like putting earrings on a hog — it can’t hide their ugliness.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.