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Home / Articles / Views / In Case You Missed It /  In case you missed it | Dumbed down
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Thursday, August 29,2013

In case you missed it | Dumbed down

By Boulder Weekly Staff

Dumbed down

We’re trying not to be offended that Boulder City Council thinks we’re so dumb that we’ll only know which municipalization measure to vote for by its placement on the ballot.

Yes, in Boulder, one of the most highly educated cities in the nation, city council members wanted to make it easier for us by making sure the anti-municipalization measure was the last item on the ballot.

That really speaks volumes to the high regard in which they hold our intellectual capital, eh?

Maybe they thought we just wouldn’t get that far, falling asleep over the eyes-glazed-over language of the tax measures above it.

Granted, Xcel and others in the anti-muni crowd have pulled off quite a snow job, confusing the hell out of this entire situation, but still.

Turns out, the anti-municipalization measure would have been shoved to the bottom of the barrel even without city council’s recent resolution requesting that order, since state law requires citizen-referred initiatives to be listed last.

Oh well, it’s the thought that counts.

Lubricated lips

We usually don’t stoop to shamelessly plugging specific local products outright, but in this case, we think we can make an exception.

Boulder resident Liz Moskow came up with a fun idea about five years ago: A lip gloss with a 1970s porno theme. The name? A classic porn soundtrack, of course. “Balm Chicky Balm Balm.”

The company’s motto is “Deeply penetrating lip lubrication,” and flavors include “Juicy Melons,” “Huge Cucumber” and “Hot Chocolate Love.”

But wait, there’s more.

Moskow has patented her tube design, which features a second cap on its “friend end” — to avoid the transfer of cooties when your companion wants you to share. Or, as the company says, “to keep balm users from sharing more than just lip relief.”

Then there’s this gem from their website: “Why have one, when you can have MULTIPLE, buy your flavor threesome or an orgy of flavors today!”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

And the product is so Boulder. It contains all-natural ingredients like organic palm oil and, um, organic extra virgin olive oil. Oh, and organic hemp seed oil, of course.

“Being in Colorado, we wanted to put the hemp seed oil in, too,” Moskow says with a laugh.

The balm is sold in Boulder at the Deco Hair Studio, and it’s available online at www.balmchicky.com and www.opensky.com. Plus, Moskow says she is in negotiations on a major deal to have her product sold at a chain of beauty product stores in New York City and Miami.

While you’re on their website, check out the alter-egos of those who supported the Balm Chicky Indiegogo campaign. Pretty clever.

And Moskow says she’s giving free balm to those who like her Facebook page and leave the best comments: www.facebook.com/balmchicky.

Spread the love, people! We hope these hot little tubes sell like crazy.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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