Lucero: A one-man wrecking crew?

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Wow, we knew that Republican CU Regent Tom Lucero was one of the most powerful members of the Republican-dominated Board of Regents, but we didn’t know he was single-handedly responsible for the dismissal of former CU Professor Ward Churchill.

That’s essentially what he claims in his new television ad for his Congressional campaign in the 4th District.

Sure, he all but called for Churchill’s firing and the dismantling of the entire ethnic studies department at CU after news of Churchill’s 9/11 essay exploded into the national media, but we didn’t think he had that much power.

His TV spot begins with images of Churchill and a voiceover: “Remember Bill Ayers? Ward Churchill’s friend? Little Eichmanns? Stated, ‘More 9/11s are necessary.’ Proclaimed ‘I don’t answer to Tom Lucero.’” And then Lucero appears next to the words “Churchill fired,” saying, “Took care of that mess in Colorado. Now I want to lead the fight to clean up Washington, D.C., which, as you know, is making an even bigger mess of our great country.”

Churchill and Lucero got into a pissing match this week, with Churchill saying tongue-in-cheek that he can think of no one who better represents the integrity and principles of Colorado Republicans than Lucero. It wasn’t a compliment, but Lucero responded the next day by saying he was thrilled to have Churchill endorse his Republican values. Churchill clarified things in an e-mail to Boulder Weekly: “I didn’t ‘endorse Republican values.’ I endorsed Tom Lucero as the Colorado candidate best reflecting them. More accurately, I endorsed [him] as best reflecting ‘Republican principles and integrity.’ Pretty big difference.”

Check out the ad for yourself at www.Lucero2010.com.

White guy wants to start white-only basketball league

Don “Moose” Lewis, the “commissioner” of the All-American Basketball Alliance, says he wants to get back to “fundamental” basketball, not the “streetball” played by people of color. He told the Augusta Chronicle, “I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

So all whites like fundamental basketball, and black people don’t? Wait, it gets better. Or worse, depending on how you look at it. “Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” Lewis continued. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

Lewis told Bomani Jones of Hardcore Sports Radio that it’s not racism; after all, he is allowing the owners of the basketball teams to be any color. He’s even allowing people of all religious persuasions, but players have to pass a drug test and a background check. Oh, and they can’t have “tattoos all across their bodies.”

Lewis tried to justify his idea by pointing to the old television show Soul Train, which focused on black musicians. Then Jones pointed out that David Bowie once appeared on Soul Train.

Lewis said he’s gotten offers to turn this into a reality show that culminates in a championship: a team of white all-stars taking on a team of black all-stars.

The name of the title match? “Snowball vs. Broball.”

Local cattle breeder has a bull that can really get the job done

He’s good at getting them heifers pregnant. His moo sperm can swim. And he has some good genes, too. If you’ve got a female cow that you want knocked up, you might want to pay attention.

We received this press release from the American Angus Association that says a bull owned by Culver Cattle of Boulder was listed among the top 4,607 Bessie mounters in the country, as listed by the association’s spring 2010 Sire Evaluation Report.

Apparently, this here report is used by cattle ranchers to improve their herd.

Something called “Expected Progeny Differences (EPDs)” are generated from a performance database of information supplied by almost 9,000 breeders.

“EPDs are listed for growth and maternal traits, as well as carcass traits that integrate performance records from the carcass, ultrasound and DNA databases,” the release says. Yeah, we didn’t understand it either. Can we get a cowpoke to explain this to us?