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CRUZ DECLARES WAR ON PEOPLE WITH BRAINS

Well, it’s official. The 2016 presidential campaign season has left the dock with tea party playmate of the month Ted Cruz steering the ship. Cruz is now officially a candidate to lead the free world. He appropriately chose to make his presidential bid official during a speech at Liberty University, the fundamentalist Christian college founded by Jerry Falwell.

It was an appropriate venue because, as you may recall, it was Falwell who almost single-handedly gave birth to the misguided notion that God is a Republican politician who wrote the U.S. Constitution. Falwell, who died in 2007, and his successor cronies have been using this new brand of distorted polito-religion since the late 1970s to divide and weaken our democracy into the lousy mess you find it in today.

That being the case, Cruz really is the perfect person to help perpetuate the Falwell legacy in the never-ending war against anyone whose brain dares harbor thoughts contrary to the chosen leaders of Republigion.

In defense of people of faith everywhere, it should be noted that the only known instance of Jesus losing his temper was when he came in contact with people in the temple who had distorted religion into a way to accrue power and money. Just sayin’.

So the Republican version of the U.S.S. Minnow is now headed out to sea on a three-hour tour with Cruz playing the role of the Skipper. Oddsmakers are betting that Donald Trump will be cast as Gilligan but who really knows with these guys. Can you say, “Nine! Nine! Nine!”?

STUDY FINDS ROUNDUP ‘PROBABLY CARCINOGENIC’ 

Glyphosate is the active ingredient in Monsanto’s herbicide Roundup, which is the most widely used weed killer around. In fact, the whole GMO (genetically modified organisms) controversy stems from Monsanto genetically engineering plants like corn, soy and sugar beets to be immune to the plant-killing qualities of Roundup so it can be sprayed on everything but only the non-crop plants die.That all sounds great so long as Monsanto’s claim that Roundup is harmless to people holds up. 

Just got to point out here that Monsanto won’t allow it’s “Roundupready” crops to be studied by anybody it isn’t sponsoring to research them, but the company swears they are safe and most of the people taking their money say that too. Probably just a coincidence. But hold your horses, somebody must not have gotten Monsanto’s “it’s all safe” memo.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer, the World Health Organization’s Francebased cancer research wing, has just released a new report that says Roundup is “probably carcinogenic.” The report claims that farmworkers who use the herbicide have a slightly increased risk of non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and also noted that there is “convincing evidence” that Roundup causes cancer in lab critters.

This is bad news for all of us because you don’t have to buy and use Roundup to be contaminated. This poison is so widely used that research by the U.S. Geological Survey has found that in some heavily agricultural areas, glyphosate was found in 75 percent of all the air and rainfall samples collected for the study.

Don’t hold your breath (even though it might be healthier) waiting for our government to study Roundup. Monsanto spends way too much on lobbying for that to happen.