Debbie, 44 years old, just found her G-spot. She has always enjoyed clitoral orgasms — alone and with a partner. She had heard about the elusive G-spot, but never found it until Jeremy. She married Jeremy five years ago, and as their marriage flourished, he suggested they explore internal orgasm. Hesitantly, Debbie agreed. Jeremy set the mood with vanilla-scented candles and satin pillows on the bedroom floor. He aroused her with a full-body massage, and licked her vulva until she was near climax. Touching her cheek and maintaining eye contact, Jeremy asked permission to insert his finger into her.
Feeling safe and loved, Debbie allowed him to enter.
Debbie felt an immense wave of pleasure, accompanied by the urge to urinate.
Because she trusted Jeremy, she communicated this feeling. He assured her this was a normal sensation, and guided her to relax and bear down on his finger as if pushing it out. Debbie allowed herself to melt into Jeremy’s touch and experienced her first G-spot orgasm.
Many women like Debbie feel like they are going to urinate during G-spot stimulation. This is because the G-spot, a quarter-size area inside the vagina, sits next to the urethra. Anatomically, the G-spot is really the urethral sponge, and pleasurable pressure can make some women ejaculate. The urethral sponge swells with colorless fluid from the Skene’s glands, moves through the paraurethral ducts, and is expelled through the urethra. It’s not urine and it doesn’t stain, but you may want a towel!
However, not all women ejaculate or experience G-spot satisfaction.
Miranda, 29 years old, has been orgasmic since self-pleasuring in her preteens. Today she is multi-orgasmic and experiences a minimum of three to four clitoral orgasms in one sitting. Having trained her vagina with Japanese Ben Wa Balls (the smaller, weighted kind), Miranda was able to strengthen muscles in her pelvic floor. She claims this has changed the quality of her orgasms, as she can feel a rippling of pleasure throughout her whole genital region. When with a male partner, she can isolate her muscles, controlling how she squeezes the bottom, middle or top of the shaft, as if playing a flute. However, G-Spot orgasms are not for her. She has to contort her body in uncomfortable positions and bear down so hard on one spot that by the time she has an orgasm from this area, she is so exhausted she cannot have another.
While Miranda knows her G-spot exists, she prefers to leave it alone to emphasize her clitoris. Sophia, age 62, on the other hand, has questioned the existence of the G-spot her entire life. She was elated to read the latest study from a team of scientists at King’s College London confirming that the G-spot is not a feature every woman must experience. Examining 1,800 female twins, the study did not find a genetic basis for the G-spot, as some twins reported having one, while some claimed not to.
While able to experience a clitoral orgasm, Sophia’s G-spot eludes her. In her late 20s, she sought answers from a Freudian psychoanalyst who attempted to help her explore why her “immature girl” orgasms on the clitoris could not evolve to an internal “mature woman” orgasm. For years she chalked it up to unresolved childhood issues. When she finally abandoned the Freudian orgasm myth, she and her husband tried to find it again at a Tantra workshop on female sacred spot massage.
The G-spot still remains a mystery to Sophia. But she teaches her own daughters that sexual satisfaction comes in an assortment of colors in various erogenous zones. This lesson is refreshing, and also vital. Women get jiggy with the G-spot in their own unique ways. Debbie has fallen in love with hers at 44. Miranda knows it’s there, but prefers her multiple clit-gasms. And Sophia has come to understand that the G-spot is just another type of stimulation that may not be for everyone.
If learning more about G-spot stimulation piques your interest, I encourage you to join me at my free talk tonight at 7 p.m. at the Fascinations store in Aurora. For those who can’t make it, enjoy exploring at home!
Jenni Skyler, PhD, is a sex therapist and board-certified sexologist. She runs The Intimacy Institute in Boulder, www.theintimacyinstitute.org