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Home / Articles / Health / Sophisticated Sex /  Role out that costume again
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Thursday, November 4,2010

Role out that costume again

By Dr. Jenni Skyler

 

 

Officer Greg bent Cindy over and slapped handcuffs on her wrist. She pleaded that she had not committed a crime.

 

“You know what you did and you know what will happen to you as a result,” Officer Greg barked.

“But officer,” Cindy whined, “I did not mean to break the law.”

Officer Greg leaned over Cindy, a smile spread across his face. “I’ve never had so much fun in my life,” he said, breaking role.

“Me too,” Cindy replied, wriggling her body toward him for a kiss.

It was 2 a.m., and they had just returned home from a Halloween party where everyone loved their officer-and-prisoner couples costumes. But their night was just getting started. Cindy had unbuttoned her coat, exposing her low-cut, striped prisoner top and short shorts. She strutted over to Greg and grabbed his belt.

“Careful lady,” he said. “You don’t want to be caught battering an officer.”

She gripped tighter and pulled him toward her, leading to her sexy and sensual arrest on the living room couch.

For months they both had expressed an interest in trying some role-play in the bedroom, but neither had found the right moment or opportunity to fulfill their fantasies … until Halloween.

Like many couples, Cindy and Greg were intrigued but nervous about adding fantasy role-play to their sexual repertoire. Halloween offered an excuse to dress up for the whole night, allowing them to break the ice. As the night wore on, they became increasingly more comfortable role-playing in public. Cindy tried to bribe Officer Greg with sexual favors, and Greg performed suggestive strip searches on prisoner Cindy. By the time they got home, they were inebriated with arousal.

One week later, their Halloween outfits still lay on the living room floor. As Cindy started to put them back in the closet, she was inspired to try on Greg’s police gear. When Greg came home, she popped out from around a corner. “You’re under arrest,” she giggled as she handcuffed his arms behind his back. She unzipped his khakis, pulled them to the floor, and got on her knees. Helpless and highly aroused, Greg moaned into her mouth.

Cindy and Greg fell madly in love with role-play and reverse role-play because it added the right touch of fantasy and seduction to their four-year relationship. They agreed to have two dates each month dedicated solely to stay-at-home, sensual dates filled with erotic fantasies and outfits for role-play. Though it was already the first week in November, they went back to the Halloween shops and capitalized on all the sales so they could fill their spare closet with costumes for the whole year.

Though costumes may not be for everyone, role-play can be for anyone. Because you are in character, it can be an opportunity to ask for things you might not normally feel comfortable requesting in regular life. Take the older couple from last week’s article. They have been together 51 years and asserted that they keep the marital fire aflame by incorporating fantasy. Though they do not dress up as they role-play, they pretend to invite various characters into their bed.

Sometimes they imagine having sex with a different person, and sometimes they imagine themselves as a different person. In either instance, they can add sexual variety through fantasy and yet still be loyal to and enjoy one other.

Fantasy and role-play, with or without costume, allow partners to have fiery sexual fun while still being in the bedroom with the one you love. It adds spice and sexual variety in a safe way. It gives permission for other pieces of your personality to be expressed.

So before you put that costume back in the closet, consider some other uses for it year-round!

Jenni Skyler, PhD, is a sex therapist and board-certified sexologist. She runs The Intimacy Institute in Boulder, www. theintimacyinstitute.org Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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