Houston, we have a problem
And we’re not even referring to the horrible death toll, the inspiring tales of rescue or the “issues” with the nuclear plants.
We’re talking about the bigger picture, brothers and sisters. Right-wing whackjob Glenn Beck says the earthquake may have been a “message” from God for us to get our acts together.
“What God does is God’s business,” Beck said on his Fox television show this week. (Thanks for clarifying, we were unclear on whether we could invade God’s privacy.) “But I’ll tell you this. … There’s a message being sent. And that is, ‘Hey, you know that stuff we’re doing? Not really working out real well. Maybe we should stop doing some of it.’” Thanks, Glenn. Go back to your cave; we’ll call you when the End Times begin.
Even comedian Gilbert Gottfried was getting into the act, losing his Aflac commercial gig after unfortunate tweets like: “Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them.”
The real truth in all of this may be coming from a Texan who periodically e-mails us predicting Armageddon and claiming to be “The Man Christ Jesus, Jose Luis de Jesus.” The thing is, this time, good ol’ Jose e-mailed us on March 7 — a full four days before the tragedy in Japan — and warned of “the severe earthquake that will soon take place — no earthquake like it has every occurred since mankind has been on Earth.”
It is the beginning of the Last Judgment, according to The Man, who seems to hail from Mission Control.
“Already,” the e-mail says, “The Man Christ Jesus is governing the nations directly from Houston — without having to move a finger — reaching the nations with technology and the ‘Image of the Beast,’ and has established firm soldiers worldwide who maintain the unity of the Spirit. The Great Day is near. Only 481 days left or less.”
Emphasis on “or less.” People, shape up. Don’t make us report to Houston.
Guatemalans who were deliberately infected with syphilis during medical tests in the 1940s are suing the U.S. government for compensation.
Good. The lawsuit claims that hundreds of Guatemalan people, including psychiatric patients, were infected without their consent during government research studies on penicillin.
Last fall, U.S. officials, including Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, issued a public apology for the atrocities, which were part of a sexually transmitted disease study conducted by the U.S. Public Health Service from 1946 to 1948.
The lawsuit compares the study to the Tuskegee syphilis experiment that began in the 1930s in Alabama, in which doctors observed the progression of the disease in about 400 low-income African-Americans. The subjects were never told they had the disease and were never treated for it.
Both were shameful chapters in our history that we should never forget, to prevent them from being repeated.
Oops, we better not say anything negative about this country, it might be considered anti-American.
Remember what happened to Ward Churchill. You might get investigated and have skeletons in your closet. You might have an offensive bumper sticker and be pulled over for an illegal search.