JUSTICE FOR CAMPERS
So, let’s get this straight. The City of Boulder passes an idiotic law against camping within city limits to keep undesirables like homeless people from sleeping under any kind of shelter, including a tarp that might protect them from the elements.
Then we have a national exercise of First Amendment rights to peaceably assemble, known locally as Occupy Boulder, which, like those pesky homeless, prompts our city’s “peace officers” to write a bunch of tickets for camping.
Then, those who are accused have the gall to ask for a jury trial, since they know that most juries are going to laugh city prosecutors out of the room. This, in turn, creates a glut of jury trials that overwhelms our sage city leaders, who decide to address the problem by — you guessed it — removing the right to jury trial.
Now granted, these elected representatives also agreed to reduce penalties for such capital offenses, but come on.
Stop treating the symptoms and see if you can figure out the problem. We’ll give you a hint. We mentioned it with the adjective “idiotic” at the beginning.
Wait, anti-gay Republican Rick Santorum won caucuses not just here in Colorado, but in Minnesota and Missouri? Was that a massive, worldwide misprint caused by the fact that all media outlets now rely on Associated Press wire reports?
We’re not sure, but we think this is good news for Democrats and the incumbent president. Granted, the field of GOP candidates is pretty pathetic, but really? Local Republicans prefer a guy whose last name, thanks to gay sex columnist Dan Savage, is synonymous with a frothy byproduct of anal sex?
Not that Obama has even come close to living up to expectations, but he’s got to be better than the yahoos that have been served up on the other side.
SLACKER ON STAGE
We know you didn’t miss the local slackline dude at the halftime show of the Super Bowl. He was one of those people that appeared between commercials.
His name is Andy Lewis, and he’s sponsored by Boulder-based Gibbon Slacklines.
Super-cool development and exposure for the emerging sport of slacklining, but seriously, some of those moves he pulled off looked, well, painful. Like the times Lewis basically fell, straddled the line and bounced back up? Was he wearing a cup? Gives new meaning to the term rope burn.
And we know that tunic/toga thing he was sporting will have an instant impact on fashion trends spotted on the Norlin Quad slacklining scene.
The guy looked like a really talented Napoleon Dynamite — or maybe Will Ferrell — in a production of Julius Caesar.