The List: 34 Climbing Route Names You Can’t Say to Your Mom

One of the most clever and crude climbing route names ever is in Colorado — Eldorado Canyon’s “Your Mother,” a 5.12d sport route on the west aspect of the Bastille. The possibilities for conversation for men giggling like high school freshmen are endless: “I was on Your Mother last Saturday,” “I just got off Your Mother,” et cetera. And yet you don’t have to worry about explaining the name to your 10-year-old when you’re at the crag, should he or she find it while flipping through a guidebook.

Not so with the route names on this list. Many of these would make a sailor cringe (so if you have delicate sensibilities now’s the time to leave the room…seriously). It certainly says something about the minds of rock climbers, though I’m a little afraid to speculate precisely what. I just know this is a very limited sample of what’s really out there – a semi-comprehensive Joshua Tree route list alone is enough to make a “birds and the bees” talk with your teenager last several hours.

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