How can a movie starring six Academy Award-winning actors be such a bore?
With "Nine," the director of "Chicago" manages this feat. But whatever blame one might be tempted to lay on
Casting mostly non-singers to do the clever but forgettable songs doesn't help – even if they are
His wife (Cotillard, of "La Vie en Rose") used to be his muse. His dim-but-sexy mistress (
"The world sees
So much stress, so many women tugging at his suave coat sleeves. He complains to the ghost of his dead mama (Loren), to his producer, to a priest and even a cardinal.
And he sings. Not a great idea, even for one of the screen's great actors.
Thank God for Fergie. The sultry siren plays the
small-town floozie who exposed young Guido to the mysteries of female
flesh (in a flashback), and she flat out tears up the show-stopper "Be
Italian." Dench acquits herself well in a
But the women are here to wear bustiers and pose, with only rare moments suggesting each one's humanity. Day-Lewis smokes a lot, looks good in retro sunglasses and suits. He makes little impression beyond the first one.
There's little humor, no heart and precious little
"angst" to his predicament — luring and using women. But then, nobody
will be crying at "
2 stars (out of 4)
Running time: 1 hour 50 minutes
Industry rating: PG-13 for sexual content and smoking
Roger Moore writes for the Orlando Sentinel. Via McClatchy-Tribune News Service.