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Home / Articles / Views / In Case You Missed It /  In case you missed it | Message from God
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Thursday, August 30,2012

In case you missed it | Message from God

Photo courtesy of Shutterstock.com

It’s like the 10 plagues were descending on the site of the Republican National Convention in Florida.

And one of them was Ron Paul.

First, there was Hurricane Isaac, which is a sure sign from God that Mitt Romney should not have gotten the nomination for president. Any day now, Pat Robertson is going to come out and tell us what else God is using the storm to punish us for.

Luckily, the prayers of a few narrowly averted disaster. Yes, a pastor in Florida claimed that his congregation was praying around the clock, and these good gay-fearing folks successfully convinced God to change the storm’s path away from Tampa.

“After you watch from the very beginning where they were saying it was coming, and now where they say it is going, then it has really moved out of the way for us and we appreciate God doing that and moving it for us,” Rev. Jesten Peters of Keys of Authority Ministries told the Christian Broadcasting Network.

Hey Justin, or whatever your name is, you want to make yourself useful? How about getting your peeps to pray for some national debt relief?

If the tropical storm weren’t enough, there’s been a rash of West Nile virus cases in Florida, and after the storm, residents were being advised to “Drain and Cover,” kind of like that “Drop and Roll” admonishment you learned as a kid for when you caught on fire. Of course, “Drain and Cover” refers to things like draining standing water and covering yourself with pants and long sleeves, which is a real delight in that heat and humidity.

Which is, among other things, why we live in Colorado. We usually don’t have to worry about hurricanes. We can spend our time praying for other things, like a Broncos Super Bowl win.

MarsMusic_8_30.jpg

MUSIC ON MARS

Of all things that NASA has wasted money on over the years, and that’s a long list, perhaps this is one of the most amusing.

This week the Mars rover Curiosity beamed a new song by Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas back to Earth, for some reason. We can see how this might have been useful if it weren’t a publicity stunt and had been audible to possible life forms beyond the ones sitting in the control room at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California.

Wouldn’t it have been cool to blare music, complete with some kickin’ bass, across the surface of Mars, just to test the Martians’ taste in music and broadcast our own?

But seriously, we could do a helluva lot better than Will.i.am. Come on people, you’re representing all of Earth here! Did we somehow miss our opportunity to vote?

At least in 2008 NASA had the good taste to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Beatles song “Across the Universe” by transmitting it into deep space.

“Obviously, deep space hasn’t sent us anything back,” a NASA spokesperson was quoted as saying this week.

Maybe we should try a Rolling Stones tune.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com

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