Sheila never dreamed that she would have the best sex of her life one steamy night at a Marriott with a man she just met over a discussion on stocks and bonds. Mike never imagined that he would pay $800 to learn about money just to blow off the majority of seminars in order to have mind-blowing sex with a stranger.

Surrendering entails trusting ourselves and our partners. Building trust means we have to be willing to be vulnerable — to physically, sexually and emotionally undress. This is the secret to unlocking that deeper layer of true intimacy, and oftentimes, that inner orgasm.

The past two weeks we have explored David Reed’s model of human sexual response. Stage one covered seduction as the brain’s erection to get us psychologically stimulated. Stage two explored sensation and different layers around what is needed for arousal, including pheromones.

Last week we discussed “seduction” as the psychological stimulation needed to get us turned on to sex. Once the brain becomes erect, our next challenge is to get the body excited. We typically know this stage as arousal, or the awakening of the second biggest sex organ — our skin.

Movies are given an R rating if there is sexual content. This usually means two nearly naked actors attempt a genital connection with fervent stroking, groping and moaning. But we forget that sex is more than just genital contact and more than just a physiological response.

Your bottle of lube should be your best friend. Whether 16 years old or 61, single or attached, straight or gay, keeping lube by your bedside is essential. It’s like having a water bottle on a three-hour hike. Sure, you may make it to the top of Bear Mountain sans water, but at a significant cost to your comfort … and potentially your health.

I think it’s safe to say that we are a compulsive society and all of us are obsessed with something. In Boulder, our obsessions tend to be mountain biking the Marshall Mesa Trail or training for the Bolder Boulder. For me, I’m addicted to those free samples at Whole Foods.

On the backside of our body we have an erogenous zone that’s a little less known: the anus. While ladies may also like back-door bliss, for men, the anus is the entry to the prostate — often referred to as the male G-spot. This luscious region has numerous nerve endings and can generate an explosion of titillating pleasure.

The vulva is high-maintenance because she fancies numerous forms of stimulation. This can include partner penetration, tongue-play, and touch; or self-pleasure with sensational sex toys, various vegetables, detachable shower heads, or throbbing from the throttle of a motorcycle.

Big Pharm is trying to barge into our bedroom again. They did it with the little blue pill, Viagra, and now they are doing it again with the little pink pill, Flibanserin. While Viagra addresses blood flow, helping a man achieve a stronger, longer erection, the Flibanserin pink pill manages brain chemistry in an effort to increase serotonin.