Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain needs help. This dope thinks he’s going to attract voter support by taking potshots at the Occupy Wall Street movement. In a TV interview on CBS’s “Face the Nation,” Cain called the protesters “jealous” Americans who “play the victim card.”

We thought October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but maybe it’s Psycho Anti-Abortion Protest with Graphic Photos Awareness Month.

Sen. Rick Santorum has an inflated sense of his own importance. He seems to think that because he’s white, male, Christian and a U.S. senator, he ought to have some control over the frontier known as the Internet.

What an ass. Republican U.S. Rep. John Fleming, who has slammed President Obama’s deficit-reduction plan because it contains tax increases for the wealthy, told MSNBC reporter Chris Jansing this week that raising taxes on the rich would prompt layoffs.

In the wake of Westword’s interview with Phish drummer Jon Fishman (which briefly appeared on the paper’s website on Sept. 3), which was revealed to have been plagiarized from both Relix Magazine and Modern Drummer magazine, we thought we’d share Boulder Weekly’s rules of guidance given out to editors to try and spot plagiarism.

Closing Gitmo. Bringing our troops home from Iraq. Ending military tribunals. Real health-care reform. Global climate change. The list of reasons to be disappointed in President Obama keeps growing. Now we can add smog to the roster.

It’s not unusual for right-wing Christians — America’s Taliban — to attribute catastrophic events to the wrath of God. Apparently, nothing satisfies God more when He’s pissed off than a bit of mayhem and indiscriminate death — men, women, children, babies, pre-born babies. Hell, kill ’em all.

So only two out of the nine members of the county’s Cropland Policy Advisory Group are willing to rule out the use of genetically modified organisms (GMOs) on our publicly funded open space.

The American Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU Women’s Rights Project announced on Monday, Aug. 15, that they plan to file a lawsuit against Rocky Mountain Academy of Evergreen, a charter school, on behalf of Heather Burgbacher, a technology teacher who says she was fired for pumping breast milk during school hours.

Conservatives had a hard time hiding their delight when Standard & Poor’s downgraded the United States’ credit rating from AAA to AA last week. Clearly, they’re hoping myopic voters will blame President Obama for this historic event.