Turf wars can be the silliest of all scuffles, and no place does silly with more zeal than Texas.

It’s one thing for Big Oil frackers to bust into our Earth, our communities and our economic well-being — but the fracking fad is also busting the free speech rights of locals who dare to speak out against it.

Great news, people. As a recent headline puts it: “Household wealth back at pre-recession levels.” Oh joy — we’re all rich again! Or not.

America’s founders were strong promoters of this extraordinarily useful agricultural crop, and both Jefferson and Washington grew it. The first draft of our Constitution was written on hemp paper, and as late as World War II, the government urgently pushed farmers to grow the crop as part of a “Hemp for Victory” program.

Uh-oh. You always have to worry when you hear that there’s a new “air of giddiness on Wall Street.”

This biotech behemoth has a monopolistic grip on the creation and sale of Frankenseeds — the seeds of corn, cotton, soybeans and other crops that have had genetically modified organisms spliced into their natural DNA structure by corporate lab-techs.

Nanomaterials, that is — manufactured or natural substances that are broken down in high-tech facilities to be teensie-tiny, molecule-sized particles.

Monsanto, the biotech profiteer, keeps rediscovering this reality, but never seems to learn from it. For more than a decade, it has aggressively pushed its genetically altered corn and soybean seeds on American farmers.

The problem is that the meat, eggs and dairy that are marketed to us as “wholesome” foodstuffs by such giants as Tyson, Smithfield and Borden are actually produced in mammoth, mega-messy, monstrous factory farms. Known by the baleful industrial acronym CAFO, these Confined Animal Feeding Operations amount to animal concentration camps.

Last year, poor Jamie presided over a $6 billion loss by the bank’s chief investment office, so he’s now had his own pay cut in half, knocking him down to $11.5 million.