Why breweries shouldn’t make Super Bowl bets

Payback is an IPA

Josh Gross | Boulder Weekly

There’s an old saying that payback is a bitch.

But it turns out it’s actually an India Pale Ale.

After a drubbing so severe that Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart called it “the Seahawks ‘bring a Bronco to work day,’’’ Downtown Boulder’s West Flanders Brewing has to make good on the Super Bowl bet it made with Seattle’s Elysian Brewing.

Starting this week, they’ll be pouring a specialty batch of Boom! IPA, made with a blend of experimental hops and no shortage of gloating. Also, they’ll have to fly the Seahawks flag. Boom!, indeed.

“We think it’ll be rich and glorious enough to wash away the bitter taste of defeat,” WFB said in a press release.

Elysian co-founder David Buhler will be on hand for the tapping on Thursday, March 6. We’re sure he’ll be gracious.

If you need something a little stronger to prepare for dredging up the disproportionately bitter memory of someone that lives in the same state as you not throwing a ball very well, Avery Brewing has just the thing: the Strong Ale Fest, which will be going down Friday, Feb. 28, and Saturday, March 1.

“To make it into this fest, a beer must be 8 percent ABV or higher and represent something very special from the heart and soul of its creator,” says Avery’s website.

Unmentioned is what it will take to make it out of the parking lot. We’re guessing a cab.

Friday strong ale-ing will run from 5 to 10 p.m. at the Avery Tapoom, and Saturday’s will run from 12 to 5 p.m. Tickets are $50 and available through eventbrite.com. All proceeds will go to charity. But since Avery didn’t specify which charity, we’re going to go ahead and assume it will fund research into artificial livers to counteract the effects of Strong Ale Fest.

If you’d prefer to go the other direction and be a little healthier with your drinking, then the folks over at Kettle and Stone may have just the thing: the Traveling Light Mobi- Growler.

Any teenager who ever drank boxed wine may know this fiendish device by a more colloquial term: the space bag.

Perfect for hiking, slipping into a Camelback or stuffing into your trousers before you go into a movie theater, the lightweight, shatterproof sturdy beer sacks are now available at Kettle and Stone for only $6, with an extra $14 for a fill-up.

In one final note, Louisville’s Gravity Brewing has just inked a distribution deal with Tivoli Distributing, meaning that its beers should soon be available on a wider scale throughout Colorado.

“Gravity Brewing aims to produce sophisticated beers that the educated Colorado market will understand. We are ready to step up our distribution and we wanted to partner with a distribution company that understands this competitive craft beer market,” Gravity founder/brewer John Frazee, said in a press release.

We here at BW commend Gravity for stepping up its game.

But we’d also advise it to learn from West Flanders and avoid Super Bowl bets.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com