ICUMI

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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Joel Dyer | Boulder Weekly

Who needs soccer?

While the World Cup is well under way in Russia, U.S.A. fans have been twiddling their thumbs in apparent boredom with no team to cheer for in an international tournament. That is until last weekend, when team U.S.A. cruised along the road to victory in a different, but perhaps more entertaining, competition. Team U.S.A. beat out all others to win top-dog honors at the Quidditch World Cup in Florence Italy. And here come the answers to the obvious follow-up questions.

Wikimedia Commons

Yes, that Quidditch. The same one from J.K. Rowling’s beloved Harry Potter series.

No, muggles (humans) haven’t figured out how to fly on broomsticks. Although their feet never leave the ground, players in the real-life game run around a field with a broomstick between their legs in a sport that takes elements of rugby, dodgeball and wrestling, magically mixing them all into a co-ed, full-contact sport.

Yes, people actually participate. It was the largest — with 800 players from around the world — Quidditch World Cup to date, since the inaugural event in 2012.

No, Daniel Radcliff wasn’t there. But team U.S.A. did clinch the win over Belgium when its star, Harry Greenhouse (different Harry), found the magic snitch tied to an opposing player’s back. Sneaky, sneaky.

No, although you missed out on all the action this time around, you don’t have to wait another four years to watch or participate. Unlike the FIFA tournament, the Quidditch World Cup happens every two years.

Maybe? The jury is still out about a real-life Hunger Games tournament, Congress Edition, but here’s to hoping.

This is One bad trip We’re on

One thing we can be sure of in the Trump era is increased enforcement, at least when it comes to things like immigration and the war on drugs. (Not so much when it comes to sexual assault, rape, collusion with Russia, perjury, the rule of law, the Constitution and other such trivial matters.)

Sue France

Well the joke’s on the orange man in the big White House with Indiana’s latest six-day, drug bust over the last two weeks. Among a plethora of other illegal substances, officials confiscated bright orange Ecstasy pills stamped with the president’s face on one side, and “great again” on the other. Officials seemed surprised by the find, but really? Make a reality TV star president and there’s no end to how, when or where he will make his way into popular culture.

Home to Mike Pence, and plenty of prohibitive policies set in place when the VP was governor, we know people are looking to escape to other worlds in Indiana. But is Trump’s garish face, lying to you about his “great again” ideas, really the last thing you want to see? No, thank you. The real trip we’re all on is bad enough. But give us a pill with puppies on it, on the other hand, and we’re all in.