ICUMI

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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Joel Dyer | Boulder Weekly

Trump: My IQ’s bigger than yours

Why this isn’t true:

1. Most obvious evidence? No one with a high IQ brags about having a high IQ.

2. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “fucking moron” and Trump’s response was to claim his IQ was higher than Tillerson’s. Even a sixth grader knows that in a contest of derogatory name calling, “fucking moron” beats “my IQ’s higher” every time.

3. Just yesterday when asked by reporters why he undercut Tillerson’s diplomatic efforts to avoid nuclear war with North Korea, Trump insisted he “never undercuts anyone.” This clip then ran next to the one from the day before wherein Trump was saying that Tillerson was wasting his time on diplomacy because North Korea only understands war. People with high IQs can remember what they said the day before.

4. Track record. Trump says his hands are big… as if we can’t see them and know that isn’t true. Trump says his Johnson is big but the Russians who have seen the sex tapes they used to blackmail him say that’s not true either. So when he says his IQ is really high, no reason to think that one has any merit either.

5. Trump tweets that Senator Bob Corker was tricked by the New York Times and secretly recorded saying that the White House has been turned into “an adult day care center” and that only the generals around Trump are preventing total chaos around the globe. A person with a high IQ might have figured that the New York Times would then release the tape, which begins with the Times and Corker both agreeing to record the conversation. Duh.

Supervolcanoes: Our next big threat

Great news: Researchers recently announced at a volcanology conference that explosions of super volcanoes may come rapidly and relatively unannounced. Isn’t 2017 the best year ever?

At the IAVCEI (no one knows what this acronym means) conference in Oregon in August, research was presented that indicated previous super volcano explosions came with, geologically speaking, little warning. Scientists looked at geological records to determine that the only thing preceding massive explosions was a relatively quick influx of magma over the course of a couple decades.

Scientists used the “baking soda and vinegar” test to come to their conclusions. In it, people with multiple Ph.Ds built a really neat papier-mâché volcano and painted it brown on the bottom with white at the top to indicate smoke. At the bottom, they used supplies from the craft store to build trees and a little town. All in all, it was pretty rad. Then, Dr. Farnsworth T. Scienceton combined the vinegar with the baking soda, and rapidly, the volcano began to “explode.”

Scientists say the model is a good representation of what could happen with the supervolcano that lies underneath Yellowstone National Park. If that sucker erupts, we wouldn’t only be covered in weird-smelling foam; no, the Earth would likely be plunged into complete blackness, air quality would rapidly diminish, satellites would stop working and life as we know may cease to exist. Science = cool.