ICUMI (In case you missed it)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

0
Joel Dyer | Boulder Weekly

We got your number Trumpo

We have finally figured out Donald Trump’s style of governing. Every day he wakes up, declares a do-over, and reinvents all of his positions based upon who is standing in front of him. We don’t mean he starts all over in his efforts to accomplish this or that. We mean he actually starts each day by staking out his position on any given subject as if he was hearing about it for the very first time. “I’ll put Hillary in jail” on one day, becomes, “I respect her and have no desire to prosecute her for anything” on the next.

Or how about his, “I’m taking the U.S. off the COP 21 agreement,” which he uttered about a week ago, but then after sleeping on it woke up and said, “I’m open to enforcing COP 21.” Why the change of heart on COP 21 besides just being too dumb to remember what he told somebody previously? Maybe it’s because his position on global warming went from saying it was just a conspiracy theory invented by the Chinese to now agreeing that human activity is contributing to climate change.

And who can forget how he was going to put his businesses into a blind trust, only to wake up with yet another new revelation: “I’m going to keep them because the President has immunity from being sued.”

Get use to it folks, this is the real Donald Trump. He can’t remember what lies he has told, has no moral compass to guide his path, says whatever he thinks people want to hear, and in the end just wants to make more money.

In other words, Trumpo is just another establishment politician who said what he had to get elected and is now selling his supporters down the river.

Unfortunately, an establishment Republican government that controls every branch is a pretty darn scary proposition in its own right. We have more than a reality TV star to fear.

  

Seriously, can’t we have anything nice?

It’s been scientifically proven that 2016 is one of the worst years in recent history. The long list of atrocities this year has committed is too long for comfort. As citizens of Earth take shelter for the last few weeks of this hellish trash fire of a year, we pack our sanctuaries with all the comforts we can muster: our favorite movie, a warm blanket and snacks, lots of snacks.

But before you dive into that big pile of pita chips and hummus, check the brand. Sabra is recalling several of their hummus flavors due to Listeria concerns, because… 2016.

If your product has a best before date through Jan. 23, 2017 then it’s a good idea to toss it in the garbage, and/or use it as a defense mechanism against riled up Trump supporters.

The Federal Drug Administration reports various sizes and flavors are being recalled, including: caramelized onion, classic, classic with pretzels, garlic, garlic with pretzels, jalapeno, olive, pine nut, red pepper, red pepper with pretzels, supremely spicy, spinach & artichoke, sun dried tomato, basil-pesto, Tuscan herb garden, lemon, rosemary/sea salt, spicy chili, garlic herb, honey mustard, salt & pepper, taco, and three-pepper chili. Just a short list of 57 varieties.

And if that list still has you hungry for Sabra products, then don’t worry. You can still eat Sabra Organic Hummus, Sabra Salsa, Sabra Guacamole and Sabra Greek Yogurt Dips. Yum.

2016 has ruined many things: countless entertainment legends, England, America, human decency and now hummus. Only 39 days until 2017.