(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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AND ANOTHER REASON JEB BUSH SHOULDN’T BE PRESIDENT

According to the Washington Post, Jeb Bush has jumped headfirst into the controversy surrounding the Washington “Redskins” football team.

Spoiler alert: Jeb is too stupid to understand why the team should change its name.

Jeb told the Post, “I don’t find it offensive, Native American tribes generally don’t find it offensive.”

And there you have it, the litmus test. If a millionaire white guy doesn’t find it offensive, then no one else does either and therefore, it’s not offensive.

Jeb, sensing his foot was not yet far enough into his mouth, went on to explain how, while he was the Florida governor, he came to the rescue of another football team, the Florida State Seminoles. Bush told the paper how he worked with the tribe to convince them that the school should still be able to use their tribe’s name. And that is where the stupid comes in.

Jeb actually doesn’t have the mental capacity to see any difference between a tribe’s name like “Seminoles,” and the word “redskin.” If Jeb would pull his head out of his derrière once in a while and use a dictionary he might learn something. For instance, Merriam-Webster and the Oxford dictionary both define “redskin” as a derogatory term for Native Americans. They do not describe “Seminole” as a derogatory term for Native Americans. It is the name of a proud tribe. We understand that Bush still had a responsibility to ask the Seminoles if they minded their name being used by one of the state’s universities, but the situation is not remotely equivalent to the “redskin” situation in Washington D.C.

Please forgive us while we try to explain it to Jeb in a way that even he will understand.

Think of it this way, Jeb; the Florida State “Italian-Americans” as opposed to the Washington “Dagos” or perhaps the Florida State “Jeb’s Kids” vs. the Washington “Anchor Babies.” Do you get it now, you culturally insensitive moron?

We’d like to thank our Italian and Latino friends for helping us explain just how stupid and out of touch Jeb Bush really is.

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE

The nightmare is over, folks. Boulder has finally thrown in the towel and given up right-sizing.

On Tuesday, the city announced it would remove the protected bike lane on Folsom Street, ending weeks of terror for Boulder drivers inflicted on them by singledigit-minutes-long wait times, for a couple hours a day, Monday to Friday. How did it take this long? How did we let this happen for… multiple weeks!?

Boulder decided to change direction on the right-sizing of Folsom only after local media got word that ISIS was behind the bike lane the whole time.

Those little green sticks that provided an impenetrable wall of security for Dakota and Jennifer, the two people who actually cycled on Folsom during rightsizing, are now being burned in effigy, and Boulder drivers can go to sleep tonight knowing the experiment failed and the City of Boulder will never try anything like this ever again.