UNBELIEVABLE HOME PRICES!
The Denver Post and Daily Camera ran an article last month proclaiming that the average price of a four-bedroom house in Boulder had reached an average of $1 million. The findings were based off a Coldwell Banker report, and the statistic went viral and everyone had a laugh.
But this week, the Camera reported findings from another study, this time by Re/Max of Boulder. Their findings? That the average price of a four-bedroom home in Boulder is not $1 million. That’d be ridiculous! The average price of a four-bedroom home in Boulder is only $722,853!
Not to be outdone, another realty company swooped in on Wednesday, releasing a report that the average price of a four-bedroom home in Boulder is now only $699,999 and it includes gym membership, access to recreation and a secluded lot far away from the Hill.
In response, the owners of the 55 percent of Boulder households that make less than $75,000 annually ran to their local banks or credit unions, making wild claims about a once-in-a-lifetime purchase opportunity, only to realize that they still needed to somehow double their income in order to afford the average four-bedroom home in Boulder.
In response, throngs of below-average Boulderites took the streets east of Broadway and began to lower housing prices the only way we low-income saps know how. Public Enemy on our thrift store boom boxes and a good old fashioned knife fight.
ALL THE STUFF THE MEDIA WISHES IT COULD SAY ABOUT DONALD F@#$!ING TRUMP AND THOSE OTHER REPUBLICAN ‘CANDIDATES’
No, Donald Trump is not mistaken. He is actually a lying fascist who wants to line people up and register them based on their religion and ethnicity.
He’s an intellectual lightweight narcissist whose greatest contribution to date is to expose the fact that nearly a third of all hard right Republicans (the people who support him) are actually also racist fascists.
His lies about Muslims in New Jersey celebrating on 9/11 as the towers came down are responsible for the current wave of violence against Muslims.
His lies about migrants who cross the southern border undocumented are responsible for an increase in racism and violence aimed at Latinos.
His lies concerning the manner in which he has sold his name to unscrupulous real estate developers — that’s to say, other unscrupulous real estate developers — who have used it to dupe innocent victims out of millions of dollars are worthy of prison, as are all the other stuff mentioned above.
And his lies about his wife being smart because she chose him are… well, lies.
And as a side note: Every Republican candidate who has used the abortion issue and Planned Parenthood to insight the radical fundamentalist Christian right in order to get their financial support and votes — I’m talking to you Carly, Ted, Marco and Ben — you are responsible for activating all the crazies out there who have and are going to continue to do violence against Planned Parenthood. It’s irresponsible to use your TV pulpit to scream for action against Planned Parenthood when you know good and well that there are people with guns and bombs just waiting for such a call. Inciting murder is simply murder. You are not only idiots as candidates, you are murderers.
Sincerely,
The mainstream media
