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Tom likes me!

We recently got an ill-advised news release from Bob Brancato, who is apparently a Republican attempting to unseat Jared Polis in the U.S. House of Representatives.

The release was ill-advised because it was trumpeting the fact that none other than former Congressman and national laughingstock Tom Tancredo has endorsed Brancato.

Dude. You don’t go around bragging that Tancredo has endorsed you. Especially in the left-leaning 2nd District. That’s like boasting about being buddies with Hugo Chavez in Colorado Springs.

Well, upon reading further, maybe that’s the image Brancato wants to project.

The release states that Brancato “has publicly saluted the state of Arizona in their tuff [sic] stance against illegal immigration.”

Wow. Racial profiler and needs help with spelling and grammar. Nice combination.

As it turns out, Brancato really is Tancredo’s mini-me. “We are honored to surround ourselves with like-minded people,” Brancato says in the release. “Congressman Tancredo is such a man.”

’Nuff said, tuff guy.

Holder held accountable

Speaking of Polis, he may not be perfect, but at least he grilled U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder about that highly suspect DEA sting a few months back that seemed to be based entirely on a TV news report.

You remember the one, where one minute Chris Bartkowicz was bragging to a TV reporter about how much pot he had in his basement, and the next minute there are DEA agents at his door, despite the federal edict passed down last fall telling the DEA to leave dispensaries and caregivers alone in states with medical marijuana laws, as long as they are not in violation of those laws.

Well, at a May 13 House Judiciary Committee hearing, Polis asked Holder about which “objective processes” the feds are using to determine whether individuals are in “clear and unambiguous compliance with state law.”

Holder’s reply was basically “Depends,” so Polis asked about DEA agent Jeffrey Sweetin’s quote, “The time is coming when we go into a dispensary, we find out what their profit is, we seize the building and we arrest everybody.” Polis asked Holder whether he agrees “that statements that could be reasonably taken as threatening to businesses that are legal in our state are, in fact, contrary to your stated policy?” Holder conceded that, yes, if the business was, indeed, legal, yadda yadda, it would be against policy to make such statements.

We may have made fun of your New Year’s poetry, Jared, but that right there was strong work. Bravo!

More priests defrocked

The removal of Catholic priests suspected of sexual misconduct with a minor in the early 1970s is becoming a full-time job for Denver Archbishop Charles Chaput.

We’re averaging about one a month, and if this pace keeps up, we should be expecting another one next week.

There was Father Mel Thompson on April 8, then Father Dorino De Lazzer on May 7.

The news releases go on about how every accused person should be presumed innocent, and they’re right.

But people who paid dearly for trusting Catholic priests as kids in the early 1970s were pretty innocent, too.

Just saying.

Great geckos

Geckos are now the number one reptile pet in the world, and Boulder County now has a hot spot where you can get your wild lizard self on.

It’s called Designer Geckos, and it’s in Hygiene just east of Longmont. Apparently, these little guys love people and now come in a wide variety of colors, thanks to selective breeding in recent years. The store owners say geckos are very easy to take care of (you can go on vacation and leave them home on their own), are clean with no odors and are even hypo-allergenic and doctorrecommended for people with allergies.

“They get so tame so easily that they can watch TV with you, go for walks in the neighborhood on your shoulder, and can be bred if you want to pass along some babies to your friends,” according to their news release.

Until June 12, if you buy a terrarium setup, you get the gecko for free.

Billed as “the first gecko store in the world,” Designer Geckos is at 11747 N. 75th St. Check out www.designergeckos.com.

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