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Promotional album cover

YOU GO NEIL

If you take a gander at Billboard.com, you’ll find a statement from Big Ag Godfather Monsanto expressing how hurt the seed monopoly’s employees are by the words on Neil Young’s new album titled “The Monsanto Years.” According to its message on Billboard, Monsanto says, “Many of us at Monsanto have been and are fans of Neil Young. Unfortunately, for some of us, his current album may fail to reflect our strong beliefs in what we do every day to help make agriculture more sustainable. We recognize there is a lot of misinformation about who we are and what we do — and unfortunately several of those myths seem to be captured in these lyrics.”

So take that Neil Young, you dummy. Monsanto says you’re no brighter than the other 276 million folks in the United States who don’t trust Monsanto and want GMO labeling on their food because they too have apparently fallen prey to those nasty myths.

Now we assume that the myths Monsanto is speaking of are the ones about Monsanto not allowing its products to be tested by independently funded organizations for potential health risks; or the myth that its Roundup product eventually creates super bugs and pesticide-resistant weeds; or the myth that windblown seeds landing in your field can get you sued by the company; or the myth that Monsanto has tried to silence scientists who have found problems with its products or research; or the myth that the company employs former administration lobbyists in larger numbers than any other corporation in order to get what it wants out of Congress; or the myth that Monsanto controls so much of the world’s seed supply as to be a threat to the future global food supply; or the myth that Roundup’s main ingredient glyphosate has been found to be a probable carcinogen, a threat to human health.

You know, all those Monsanto myths that Boulder Weekly has been writing about extensively for more than 10 years — the same ones we found to be true as opposed to mythology as claimed by Monsanto’s spin doctors. And now these same disingenuous PR wizards are trying to claim that Mr. Young has hurt their feelings because he too has been duped by these terrible myths.

We don’t want to make Monsanto cry or anything, but for the record, their claims of mythology are pure horse poop. For the record, here is what Neil Young is singing about the company:

“The farmer knows he’s got to grow what he can sell, Monsanto, Monsanto / So he signs a deal for GMOs that makes life hell with Monsanto, Monsanto / Every year he buys the patented seeds / Poison-ready they’re what the corporation needs, Monsanto.”

WE’RE NUMBER ONE

Well, climate deniers, you’ll be pleased to know that your greed and stupidity have once again led us to another new record. Yippee.

According to our friends at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), last month was the hottest May ever in the 136 years that humans have been recording such information. But that’s not all, thanks to our continued use of coal, oil and yep, good ol’ natural gas — the latter being the dirty polluting fuel that the industry, big green eco groups and politicians have successfully rebranded as “clean energy” — we set another bunch of records as well like the hottest March to May ever and even the big one, the hottest January to May ever.

It’s too early to celebrate yet, but with a little luck and a lot of hard work by the oil and gas and coal industries and their eco and political lackeys, 2015 may just prove to be number one: the hottest year in history, since the last hottest year in history, which was last year. Thanks guys.