If I could fight

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Dear diary,

I felt a new emotion

after weeks on end

of nothing but fatigue;

it was hatred

for the human race

It’s been getting worse

after coming so close

don’t shine that light there

it’s grown used to the dark

No one knows

in the clear still water;

a reflection

No one sees

on the shimmering horizon;

an illusion

Mark my words

for those whom I love

I would shatter the earth

and snuff out the stars

but it is not

in my power

to do so

So instead

I will hold on by

the whites of my knuckles

until my fingers break

counting my breaths

If I could fight I would fight

but the enemy is inside the gates

so instead I’ll smile for you

through this desolation

for hopes of a better future

because you deserve to see it

—Patrick McGuire