An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

Joel Dyer | Boulder Weekly

What exactly are we missing here?

Talk about sending the wrong message: a federal judge has declared Cliven Bundy’s case a mistrial.

Let’s recap.

So Cliven Bundy doesn’t like being told he can’t graze his cattle on the BLM land in Nevada where his family ranch has been grazing its cattle since land grants were doled out to settlers. We get that. We’d be pissed off too. But there is a big difference between being pissed off and declaring war on the U.S. government, which is how Bundy dealt with the situation. He told the government to stick it and had a bunch of militia members with all kinds of firepower show up and threaten to shoot any federal employee who dared come on his property or enforce the law. His two sons, Ammon and Ryan, helped out and for some reason, the feds backed down.

Wikimedia Commons/Gage Skidmore
Cliven Bundy

That emboldened Bundy and his armed rebellion so much his boys and a bunch of guys with guns went to Oregon and literally took over a wildlife refuge and again said they’d shoot anybody that tried to stop them. After a lengthy standoff and one guy getting killed, the Bundy boys were arrested. But in 2016, they were acquitted, despite the fact the whole nation saw them take over the refuge with guns. And now Cliven Bundy is walking away from his armed standoff with the feds.

And the lesson boys and girls is that if you don’t like the law, get a bunch of guys with guns and threaten to kill anyone who tries to enforce the law and the feds will let you do whatever you want. Great message.

Nutritionally devoid news

Good news, Baby Boomers! Cereal is back! Millennials killed it, but since they can’t afford to eat anything else, those new Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios by General Mills started to look mighty tasty.

So tasty, in fact, that sales of the new cereal contributed to a 7 percent spike in U.S. cereal sales since last year and now everything’s coming up Milhouse!

Other flavors that will draw millennials back into the sweet embrace of nutritionally devoid breakfast foods:

• Student Loan Debt Forgiveness Crisps

• Magically Affordable Housing with Marshmallows

• Frosted Universal Health Care

• Fruity 401Ks

• Diversity Entitlement Evidence-Based Fetus Science-Based Transgender Vulnerable Bran

• BitCoin Bites

• Climate Change Confirmation Crunch

• Job Security Charms

• Equal Pay Pebbles

• Honey Bunches of Socialism Isn’t Communism

You’re welcome, Boomers, but Applebee’s is still off the table.