ICUMI (In case you missed it)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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ICUMI-1To vote or not to vote, that is the question…

Many Americans are feeling faced with what they consider an impossible choice: Who to vote for come November’s presidential election, Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.

It is a choice on par with Hamlet’s famous conundrum, “To be or not to be.”

One Virginia woman decided not to be.

“Faced with the prospect of voting for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, Mary Anne Noland of Richmond chose, instead, to pass into the eternal love of God on Sunday, May 15, 2016, at the age of 68,” read Noland’s obituary in the Richmond Times-Dispatch on May 17.

Well, if you can’t escape to Canada…

And while many fake obituaries have been penned in the past to slam politicians (remember that obituary for Thomas P. Trump, the supposed cousin of The Donald, where the “deceased” implored citizens of the United States not to vote his “walking mucus bag” cousin the leader of the Free World?), this one is the real deal.

The deceased’s husband, Jim Noland, told a Virginia news station that one of her sons wrote the obituary as a way to continue her sense of humor. And fine, if death is a little too extreme a choice for you, there’s always Maple Match.

What to auction next for George Zimmerman?

George Zimmerman says he acted in self-defence
public

We have a few suggestions for George but first a recap. As most folks will recall, George Zimmerman is the blithering idiot that shot and killed Trayvon Martin in 2012. The needless death of the young black man caused countless riots throughout the nation.

Eventually, a jury turned Zimmerman loose. Since that time, Zimmerman has devoted himself to apparently trying to prove that the jury made a mistake.

First he has continued to be in trouble with the law over guns and domestic violence accusations. Instead of trying to put the incredible tragedy of this young man’s death behind him, Zimmerman has capitalized on the death and his resulting infamy. He paints pictures of Confederate flags and sells them to raise money for gun rights.

Now he has just auctioned off the actual gun that killed Treyvon Martin online with a starting bid of $100,000.

Zimmerman says he wants to use the money to “fight Black Lives Matter violence against police officers.” No kidding.

So we would like to make a few recommendations for Zimmerman’s next auction. First, he should take bids for his brain. We will happily get the bidding going as soon as he has removed it. We would also like to see him sell his heart, although we realize that he may not have one. If that’s not an option, we suggest he put himself on eBay and see if anyone has an interest in bidding for the world’s biggest prick.