ANOTHER REASON WHY PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN TO THE GUN LOBBY
I wish we were joking, but the following is right out of a press release from the National Association for Gun Rights:
“Have they lost their minds? ‘Republican’ Senate Leader John Cornyn (R-TX) and his buddies in the Establishment Gun Lobby are plotting to surrender to the Left Wing Media by pushing a major piece of anti-gun legislation.
“According to major news stories on Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, Newsmax, and Politico, Cornyn is introducing new legislation that strips more Americans of their gun rights, without a trial or due process, under some ill-defined heading of ‘mental illness.’ “John Cornyn is ready to surrender more Americans to the anti-gun media and Barack Obama instead of getting rid of the broken and unconstitutional Brady Registration system with recent evidence of its catastrophic failures.”
That’s right America, as members of the pinko commie media and with the complete blessing of our pinko commie president who just happens to be black, we at BW would like to confess that it’s all true. We really are so blinded by our anti-constitutional agenda aimed at turning our country over to the pinko commie U.N. that we are now willing to officially go on the record as being in favor of keeping guns out of the hands of the mentally ill.
Who would have thunk it. We agree with our Republican friend pinko commie John Cornyn.
We might as well go ahead and tell the whole truth no matter how mad it makes the gun lobby. Here it is:
Boulder Weekly is also opposed to gun ownership for chimpanzees despite the incredible similarities between their and our DNA. We strongly oppose guns in the hands of children 4 and under no matter which part of the South they were born in. We do not believe that inmates should be allowed to own guns while imprisoned. And finally, we don’t think that anybody who is fighting for the gun rights of the mentally ill is mentally stable enough to own a gun.
This is the kind of stupid crap that gives all gun rights advocates a bad name. You gun enthusiasts should do a better job self-policing your spokespeople.
ROBOT WAITERS ARE HERE
Intrepid researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT, or the Massachusetts Institute of Techno) announced this week that they had suc cessfully programmed two robots that can deliver beverages. That’s right, two.
They’re called “vending machines” and apparently you just press a button with letters and numbers on it — no, no, that’s not it. The real beverage robot goes into separate rooms, takes drink orders, and goes to a “bartender” robot that places the requested drink in a cooler. The waiter robot then takes the cooler back to the person, where after brushing off the Funyuns dust and grunting, the person takes the beverage and presumably sobs.
The study is another in a long line from East Coast elite nerds who are trying to fatten up the rest of us so they can take over the country and do whatever it is they want to do — probably read or discuss global politics or something stupid like that. Or prepare their Shetland pony named Gregor for the Massapequa Dressage Games and the over-the-shoulder knit sweater competition. Word has it that Alan has a leg-up this year, likely because he made the pool boy cut off his own leg while Alan laughed and ate baby food out of the jar because he has issues. Big issues, man.
Anyway, researchers say the robots will one day be used at emergency shelters to take orders for blankets and food. And it’s probably a safe bet that the people at emergency centers would want blankets and food. In fact, I want blankets and food right now.
