(IN CASE YOU MISSED IT)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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OOPS, WRONG DATE, DONALD 

By now we have all heard Donald Trump’s most recent fact-free claim about thousands of Muslims celebrating the 9/11 attacks in the streets of Jersey City even as the towers were coming down. Needless to say that never happened, but we think his critics are being too hard on the Donald. It was a simple mistake that anyone could have made. He just got his dates wrong… along with a couple of other small details.

Donald really did see people celebrating in the streets near the Jersey Shore after a tragic event, but it was in 1991, not 2001. Well, truth be told, they weren’t really celebrating per se, they were just laughing really hard after it was announced that Trump was having to file for bankruptcy after spending a billion or so too much to build his flagship casino in New Jersey.

So Trump’s not so good with numbers, a billion too much here, a decade off there. Cut the man some slack. So he’s not a rocket scientist. It was just a simple, innocent, racist, hateful, lying mistake.

Oh, and they weren’t Muslims, they were just an earlier generation of tanned Snooky, JWoww and The Situation wannabes. Anyone could have screwed that up, they all look alike when they’re not pure white.

And what difference does it really make? Italians are still foreigners, so hating on them has to be worth a couple of percentage points in the polls. This whole thing has simply been blown out of proportion.

KEEP THE CHANGE, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL 

As a general rule, when faced with a $4,000 ethics fine, one should not attempt to pay said fine in pennies and nickels. We’d call that fueling the fire.

But Carlos Hernandez, mayor of Hialeah, Florida, apparently felt that the fiery dispute he’s been having with his local ethics commission needed stoking. So he hauled in 28 buckets of coins, a total of 360,000 pennies and nickels, to pay his fine.

Hilarious, no? Extra hilarious considering Hernandez was fined back in July for making false statements to the public (not once, but twice) about tens of thousands of dollars of income he earned from a private loan. The loan, by the way, was made to a jeweler who is now jailed for operating a pyramid scheme.

Hernandez was a Hialeah councilman at the time of the Great Interest Rate Heist of 2011.

This guy’s a hoot, right? Sadly, and humorlessly, the Hialeah ethics commission didn’t find the Great Coin Payment Stunt of 2015 very funny and doubled Hernandez’s fine, saying the mayor intentionally broke the rules because he knew the panel only accepts checks… and money orders. Because people still use those. Apparently. Oh, and Hernandez managed to get himself sued by the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics and Public Trust.

With a grin that could only be described as shit-eating, Hernandez told a local NBC affiliate station he thought the 360,000 coins were a legitimate way to pay.