The results of The 2010 Comprehensive Daily Kos/Research 2000 Poll of Self- Identified Republicans are in, and it’s just as we feared. A majority of Republicans are insane. The poll, conducted by Research 2000, asked a series of questions of more than 2,000 folks who say they’re Republicans, with results that make one wonder whether Fox News is part of an alien plot to decrease human intelligence. Here’s an overview of some of the more startling results:
When asked whether they believed President Barack Obama is a socialist, a whopping 63 percent of respondents said yes, with only 21 percent answering no. Some 16 percent weren’t sure. Do these people even know what socialism is? If Obama is a socialist, then so is George Bush the Dumber.
A quarter of all respondents said they believe Obama “wants the terrorists to win,” while another 30 percent think the issue is open for discussion. About 58 percent say they either don’t believe Obama was born in the United States or aren’t sure.
Hasn’t this issue been settled? How did it even become an issue?
Roughly a third think that Obama is “a racist who hates whites,” while just over half said they believe Sarah Palin is more qualified than he to be president. The vast majority oppose gay marriage, gays in the military and even gays and lesbians teaching in public schools, clearly solidifying the myth that the GOP wants to treat gays and lesbians like second-class citizens. More than 70 percent think abortion is murder, and 67 percent believe that if you’re not Christian you’re going to hell.
We certainly hope they’re right on that last one, because if going to heaven means hanging with these idiots, eternity is going to suck.
It’s that time of year
Wow, so maybe the left hand really doesn’t know what the right hand is doing in the corporate media monolith that runs the major daily newspapers in Denver and Boulder.
It was downright laughable on Jan. 31 to see the love letter (and so close to Valentine’s Day) about CU President Bruce Benson on the front page of one rag and an investigation of pharmaceutical misdeeds at the dental school he oversees on the front page of the other.
It must have been late January, since that’s when the CU scandals come out. Football players sexually assaulting women, Ward Churchill, the hiring of Benson, you name it, they all got their start in late January. Must be a slow news month.
Still, it will be interesting to see if the pendulum of presidential control over the CU system swings back the other way, now that there’s been a good drug controversy in one of the schools at the Health Sciences Center or UC Denver or Anschutz Medical Center or whatever they’re calling it these days.
You all remember when Our Savior, Hank Brown, swooped in after the looseygoosey days of former CU President Betsy Hoffman and brought in — say it with us — Openness, Transparency and Accountability.
Well, part of Brown’s changes were to move the president’s office to Denver and delegate more authority to the campus chancellors.
Hmmm, who’s watching the henhouse now? Maybe Benson, who loosened some of Brown’s onerous restrictions, will feel the need to throw some cash (which he is allegedly saving tons of at CU by not requesting reimbursements) at increasing regulatory compliance.
Ho ho, hee hee
Most of us are vaguely aware that laughter is good for your health. Well, there is a growing body of research showing that even forcing yourself to laugh when nothing is funny has physical benefits.
Our video of the day on the Boulder Weekly website (www.boulderweekly.com) is a good source for humor. Or, for those who want to practice the art of chuckling, believe it or not there is a laughter club in Boulder. It meets at 6:30 p.m. the second and fourth Wednesdays of the month, starting Feb. 10, at 1906 13th St., Suite 100. (Enter through the brass doors on Walnut Street.) Donations are accepted but not required. For more information, see www.laughterworks.org or call Ellen Brown at 303-447-2851.
And Jim Gibson holds guffawing sessions on a limited basis by reservation only and is hoping to launch a public laughter club himself. He can be reached at email@example.com or 720-434-2604.