Savage Love

SAVAGE Love | Week of January 16

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Dear Dan: I had an odd bit of awkwardness over the holidays. One of my wife’s nephews recently came out as gay, which is no problem at all for us, but it created friction in his immediate family. We were at a big extended-family dinner together, and after we sat ...

SAVAGE Love | Week of January 9

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Dear Dan: Is there a term that is preferred to “transgendered”? I recently wrote an article that described a MTF person I know as transgendered. The article was positive about transgendered persons I have known (she is one of many). Upon seeing a draft prior to ...

SAVAGE Love | Week of January 2

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Dear Dan: I’m a 34-year-old straight female. I am morbidly obese and have been for most of my life. I have never dated. I’ve been on a couple of dates, and only when I asked the guy out. From reading your columns and books, I am aware that some men are attracted to...

SAVAGE Love

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Dear Dan: I’m a straight 18-year-old girl, and I have been dating my boyfriend for eight months. He recently told me that he wishes we never had sex because he feels like he raped himself by doing it. He has had some bad sexual experiences in the past, but he has ...

SAVAGE Love | Week of December 19

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Dear Dan: I’ve talked to my girlfriends, my mom and his mom, but I need some unbiased advice. I’m a 28-year-old woman in a relationship for three-and-a-half years with a wonderful man, also 28...

SAVAGE Love | Week of Dec. 12

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Dear Dan: I recently ended things with a guy I liked because he wanted to stop using condoms, but he balked when I said we should both get tested for sexually transmitted infections. He said he felt I didn’t trust him. I tried to explain that trust has nothing to do ...

Savage Love | Week of Dec. 5, 2013

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Dear Dan: I’m a bi woman in my mid-20s in a great monogamish relationship with my straight boyfriend. We occasionally invite other women into our sex life, which is really enjoyable for both of us. He isn’t threatened by other women, only by other men, which isn’t an...

Savage Love | Week of November 28, 2013

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Dear Dan: I recently ended a relationship that lasted a year and five months. While I loved this woman, for much of the relationship she was, to varying degrees, depressed. I tried to be as helpful and patient as possible with the hope and expectation that she would ...

Savage Love | Week of November 21, 2013

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Dear Dan: Last month at a house party, my boyfriend accidentally burned my chin, neck, and cleavage during a clumsily executed volcano shot. I was literally on fire for a few seconds. Some doctor appointments, burn creams, bandages, and awkward scabbing later, I’m ...

Savage Love | Week of November 14, 2013

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Dear Dan: Why am I such a slut? — Girl, Corrupted...

Savage Love | Week of November 7, 2013

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Dear Dan: I am a kinky, youthful 72-year-old guy. I grew up in the Pleistocene era, when there was virtually no way to meet a kinky woman. I’ve had two vanilla marriages, and three months ago I ended a four-year vanilla relationship with the best woman I’ve ever met...

Savage Love | Week of October 31, 2013

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Dear Dan: Two years ago, I found a letter in my sister’s car informing her that the blood she gave during a charity blood drive had tested positive for HIV. I didn’t say anything to her at the time, because it was a really bad time, I wasn’t supposed to find out, and...