ICUMI (In case you missed it)

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Thanks Obama

Every 37 seconds, Trump spews another hateful, ignorant, appalling remark. Just when you think you can’t hate him more, somehow he insults women or minorities or veterans or bunnies or rainbows or Mr. Rodgers or sunflowers… again.

In case the Trumpocalypse happens Novemer 8, hordes of Americans are stocking their Doomsday shelters, and some are making arrangements to flee. And President Obama has provided the perfect location: Mars.

The Prez has mentioned Mars multiple times in his presidency, and earlier this week he penned an op-ed for CNN called “America will take the trip to Mars.” He must be hard at work crossing off things on his “Stuff To Do While Still President” list: write op-ed about Mars, make a lame lame-duck duck joke at a Chinese restaurant; have one more sleepover with Biden in the Oval Office, etc.

In Obama’s article he talks about the future ambition of sending people to stay on Mars for an extended period of time.

Any chance we could get a flight out before this election is over? Approximately 33.9 million miles should be enough distance to finally unclench our sphincters and start relaxing on a Trump-less planet.

Granted, probably only rich people can afford to go… then they’ll probably start sending people to work for them… those people will then revolt and gain their own freedom to start their life on Mars… eventually society will supposedly be equal, but not really… then it’ll be election time on the new planet… one of the candidates will start spewing hateful comments… and then Venus will start looking mighty fine…

Apparently it has nothing to do with seeing dead people

October is the time of year where the barrier between the living and the dead is at its thinnest. Or it’s the time of year when crooks and liars exploit people’s grief to make a buck by telling them that their dead parents say, “Hi.” Take your pick.

“Psychics” and “mystics” have long claimed to have a “sixth sense,” an ability to see “beyond.”

Well, turns out researchers have discovered a sixth sense might actually exist but it has nothing to do with seeing dead people like Hayley Joel Osment told Bruce Willis — apparently The Sixth Sense wasn’t a documentary?

The real sixth sense has to do with “proprioception” or body awareness, which admittedly sounds way less cool.

In a study published in the New England Journal, scientists noticed this new sense in a pair of young patients with a rare genetic neurological disorder that affects their body awareness. When tested, the two subjects weren’t able to walk when blindfolded and they couldn’t keep track of the position of their arms and legs as researchers moved them. It’s a significant discovery that will hopefully lead to clues about multiple neurological disorders.

At the very least, next time some guy with a crystal ball claims they have a sixth sense, feel free to pull out the New England study and tell them, “We all have a sixth sense buddy!”