Why a New Jersey puffer fish should not be president


When Mitt Romney was considering who might be his 2012 running mate, each prospect was given a fish-themed code name. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, known as a tireless self-promoter with a bloated ego, was dubbed “Puffer Fish.”

The Romneyites determined that the prima donna Christie was wholly unqualified to be vice president, but the rejection didn’t deflate Chris’ puffed-up self-esteem one dot. Indeed, the bragging and blustering Jersey guv has convinced at least himself that he’s the can-do, bigidea, forceful leader America needs, so he is now offering to be our president.

Before accepting, however, you might check with one group of voters who’re less than enchanted: The people of New Jersey. With a moribund economy, a state budget mess, a growing pension crisis, his state’s infrastructure crumbling and his own office caught in a web of scandals, Christie is not faring well with the homefolk, earning only a 30 percent approval rating, with most voters saying they dislike “everything about him.”

Nationwide, Christie is way back in the pack, getting under 3 percent of Republican primary voters. But he has found one friend — Maine Gov. Paul LePage has enthusiastically endorsed him! Problem is, LePage is even more insufferable and insolent than Christie, so arrogant and autocratic that he’s even alienated fellow Republicans in Maine and is now threatened with impeachment.

Still, if anything, Puffer Fish’s ego is puffier than ever. Asked by Fox News why 65 percent of New Jersey voters say he’d make a poor president and shouldn’t run, the vainglorious governor actually said: “They want me to stay. Don’t leave to run for president, because we want you to stay.”

It’s one thing for a politician to say something so ridiculous, but — far scarier — Christie is so out of touch with reality that he believes it!

This opinion column does not necessarily reflect the views of Boulder Weekly.