DNSChanger: No, the Internet Isn’t Shutting Down on Monday

Dozens of news outfits are amping up this DNSChanger malware “event” on Monday with stories bearing apocalyptic titles like “Countdown to Internet Doomsday: Will Your Computer Survive?” or “How to survive internet doomsday” or “End of the Internet? ‘Doomsday’ virus will crash thousands of computers on July 9.”

My personal favorite: “Five reasons DNSChanger victims deserve to lose the internet.” Because nothing says “helping bewildered consumers” like distorting what’s at stake to justify an almost gleefully callous (but eye-catching!) headline.

When I click on any of these, I half-expect to find pictures of Bat Boy, his half-human, half-nocturnal mammalian mouth opening like a cartoon opera singer hitting the money note, his hands at his face Macaulay Culkin-style, his computer melting like the Wicked Witch into a pool of sludge.

What’s actually going down on Monday is far less theatrical.