In case you missed it | Frackin´ good film

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OK, if you only watch one video about the proposed fracking ban in Longmont, watch this one:

Yes, well-heeled oil and gas interests are pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into defeating Question 300 so they can protect their pocketbooks, shelling out tons of money to pay for TV commercials and slick fliers.

But the other side, with all 12,873 of its dollars, has come out with a pretty slick little video of its own, making fun of the anti-300 flier mailed to Longmont residents. You know, the one featuring the seven Republican former Longmont mayors.

Well, take a gander at what they came up with. Not only does the singer have some pipes, there are some pretty clever lines and animated images of trampled children.

We like the part when they refer to themselves as “seven has-been mayors” and sing, “Since we’re white and we’re rich and old / You must believe what you are told.”

Trust us, this catchy tune will be in your head for days.

And look for Gov. Frackinlooper’s cameo at the end.

Scientists claim whales can talk

Scientists announced this week that it is possible that whales — one of, if not the, most intelligent mammals in the world — can vocalize human words and possibly even learn to talk to us.

Wow. While such a prospect sounds great at first, just imagine what whales might be inclined to say to us once they know the language. Here’s a list of possibilities.

1) Whale wars shmale wars, get the hell away from me before I Moby Dick your tiny human ass.

2) What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. That big blue guy in the Smithsonian was my cousin.

3) No really, it’s my pleasure. It’s not every day you get to meet the species that thought it was a good idea to hunt you to the brink of extinction so they could have perfume.

4) Don’t give me that Eskimo cultural sustainability crap. How would you like it if I stuck that thing in your back?

5) Could you introduce me to the guy who invented plastic? I think I have something that belongs to him.

Where are those crazy Italian courts when you need one?

Note to self: Don’t be a seismologist in Italy.

This week, an Italian court decided that seven scientists, including seismologists and other earthquake experts, were guilty of manslaughter for not having properly warned the citizens of the small town of L’Aquila that a quake was coming.

So it’s obvious that the Italian court system is pretty ludicrous. But wouldn’t it be great if we could use it selectively for things like prosecuting the CEOs of Goldman Sachs and their investment banking pals? “Guilty as charged” for not warning Americans that the banking system was about to collapse.

Or what about doling out 15-year prison terms to presidential candidates who make false promises? We can hear it now, “guilty for failure to actually create 12 million new, high-paying jobs.”