Teenage boys show respect to lost, jabbering man on stage
When a senile man appeared on stage of the Boy Scouts of America 2017 National Scout Jamboree this week, the thousands of respectful young men in attendance listened patiently and with courtesy as the man spewed garbage and stroked his own ego.
It wasn’t clear, according to those familiar with the situation, if the senile man knew where he was: addressing a large gathering of impressionable children that have shown dedication to being productive members of society.
The senile man pointed out the “press” will call the crowd of 45,000 people only about 200. And that it set a record. Guardians for the man said he’s always going off about setting records.
Instead of telling the group of children about becoming a successful adult, the man compared our nation’s government to a cesspool, then a sewer and then wondered aloud why there wasn’t “more loyalty.”
The senile man then went on a rant about William Levitt, saying the notorious developer who famously refused to sell his homes to black people, “had a very interesting life,” and said his only fault was that he got “bored” with his life of yachts.
In true crazy person style, the man concluded his speech to the mouth-agape audience by declaring they’ll be saying “Merry Christmas again when they go shopping,” and that “they” have been downplaying that.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
PUT A RING ON IT
It’s officially the dog days of summer — where temperatures are sweltering, chaos and catastrophe can ensue, or more technically the star Sirius rises before the sun (#themoreyouknow). It’s also the height of wedding season for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, although some in the Southern Hemisphere don’t want to be left out. For example, the two British field guides who were the first to get married at a field station on the Antarctic territory claimed by the U.K. The ceremony made headlines at home, all publications commenting on the bride’s dress, the bottom half of which was fabricated out of an old tent. It was one for the history books.
Not that it was the first Antarctic wedding in history, as at least some adventuresome couples have been hitched there before. (Why have a scuba wedding surrounded by undersea creatures if you can pose with penguins to get the perfect living-room-wall-worthy shot?) What’s significant is that this was the first official wedding to take place in the British Antarctic Territory, weddings being a new service the British Foreign & Commonwealth announced in October 2016 (and outlined on the governments webpage). Nevermind the fact that the Antarctic Treaty of 1961, of which the U.K. is a member, doesn’t really recognize any claims to territory on the southernmost continent, or the fact that Chile and Argentina both dispute the U.K.’s claims to the pie-sliver of land stretching from the Antarctic Peninsula down to the South Pole. Was this just a fun life and style story for the folks back home? Or a subtle statement about the U.K.’s Antarctic diplomacy? Nothing says “mine” like making a marriage official.