Testing Tom Tancredo


Tom Tancredo is at it again.

We hesitate to spend any of our precious print space on this, but if it changes even one fence-sitter’s mind about the question of why the hell this country was formed in the first place, it’s worth it.

Here’s his quote, from a recent Tea Party gathering in Nashville: “Because we don’t have a civics literacy test to vote, people who couldn’t even spell ‘vote,’ or say it in English, put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House named Barack Hussein Obama.”

Nice. We’ve got an idea for a little test we’d like to give Mr. Tancredo. It involves a goat, and if he fails, he’ll be sent back to whatever country his great-great-great grandfather came from.

The news of the latest drivel that continues to pour out of this guy’s mouth came to us not from a liberal watchdog group, but from what appears to be Tancredo’s own Rocky Mountain Foundation. So somebody is actually proud of this, wants to promote it, and even tacked on a few comments that Tom made in an interview after his speech.

“When I say too many Americans lack civic literacy, I am not talking about any one race or color or about recent immigrants. I think it applies across the board,” Tancredo says.

Oh, good. Whew. For a second there, we thought this sounded a bit too much like measures taken in the past to ensure that certain people, like African Americans, couldn’t vote. Our mistake.

“For years I have advocated that anyone registering to vote should have to pass the same civics test immigrants must pass to become citizens. I will be attacked by liberals and Obama acolytes who claim a civics literacy test would be discriminatory. That is nonsense. It would discriminate only against people who do not want to learn what America is all about — the values and constitutional principles that made America great.”

Um, does it strike anyone else as strange that Tancredo is urging a group called the Tea Party to do something at which the original Tea Party would have balked?

Wasn’t there something about “no taxation without representation” and putting power in the hands of the citizens rather than royalty?

Now substitute the term “royalty” with “the educated.”

Man’s best friend likes the arts

We’re starting to confuse dogs with people these days. On Thursdays at 3:30 p.m., at the George Reynolds Branch of the Boulder Public Library, kids can practice reading aloud to “calm and certified therapy dogs,” according to the library’s online events calendar. “They love to be read to, and they never criticize!” the announcement trumpets. “Our dogs look forward to hearing from you!” (Shoot an e-mail to watkinsl@boulderlibrary.org with your name, phone number and child’s name and age to make a reservation.)

Then we get this press release from a Los Angeles record company that has rereleased a “fun musical CD for dogs” featuring the doggy hit “Squeaky Deaky.”

No, really. They are imploring us to bring our dogs near our computers. Then they want us to go to their website, at www.petcds.com, play some samples of their canine cacophony, “and see what happens.”

If we have to replace any chewed-up laptops, somebody’s going to pay. This outfit, the Laurel Canyon Animal Company, claims to have used interspecies communication to create music for dogs, thanks to “animal communicator” Kim Ogden, who has the letters “D” and “r” in front of her name.

OK, so this Ogden person reportedly conducted “canine focus groups” selected from “over 250 dogs” nationwide.

“The dogs were questioned as to their preferences in music and content,” the release says. “The dog’s responses, as translated by Dr. Ogden, were used as guides for the music and lyrics, resulting in a musical CD that dogs (and their guardians) love.”

The release also contains testimonials from a dog owner, a veterinarian and an animal shelter attesting to the music’s amazing therapeutic power.

One says dogs even started dancing when they heard the music. Only in L.A.